We have been working through making peace with our next options. I have had a hard time adjusting to the idea of egg donation or adoption. I would be open to adoption, but my husband prefers egg donation. And I am okay with that too. It makes sense as the best choice for us, but it is still a strange process and a lot to work through to be ready.
I have been doing so much research about these…
Well, my husband and I are on a small getaway to the coast. It feels good to be away for a couple of nights. Walk along the water, eat good food, sleep a lot, wander around the town, play video games. It’s good.
We did the embryo transfer with our final embryos and got nothing. Well, one of them was not growing right, so we did not transfer it. Our doctor said if it implants it is headed for a…
Well, our embryo transfer is tomorrow. I am a bit nervous, but in a much better place for it emotionally than I would have been if we had done it a month or two ago. So that’s something. I have been doing these self-compassion meditations, that are a part of the meditation study I am taking part in. Did I talk about that? Oh maybe not. It is an 8 week course of doing daily meditation using…
This is sort of about abortion but not entirely. It is more about the strange and murky origins of a human being. To put it out there, I would say that I come down on the pro-choice side of the abortion question, but I detest this idiotic way that it is debated: “Get your laws off my body” vs “Stop murdering babies.” It’s not that simple and no one wins that debate. But I feel that if people were…
Well, we are taking a break. Just a litle bit, for a month or so.
After our miscarriage, we were doing somewhat sort of okay, and wanted to press ahead with the transfer of our remaining two embryos. My doctor had me do a new saline infused sonogram (where they put some saline into the uterine cavity to puff it up slightly and use an ultrasound to check the shape of the cavity) to check to be…
We are going to take a break for a few weeks, from IVF and fertility things. It always sounded silly when people talked about taking a break, but I think that’s where we are right now. I feel like when you work all night and are trying to finish a project, it’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and you are trying to push through to get it done but every little thing goes wrong. It’s like that right now.
…So we did our IVF transfer. The first one, after 3 egg retrievals and an ectopic pregnancy, which delayed our transfer by nine months.
But the transfer is done. We transferred two embryos almost a month ago. And can you believe it? One of them stuck. I am actively 6 weeks pregnant. And nothing has gone wrong so far! Crazy, right? I had an early ultrasound to make extra sure it wasn’t ectopic and…
I have come to realize that the way to keep some sanity in the midst of fertility troubles is all about looking far out, play a long game. A marathon, not a sprint, to use a very annoying metaphor.
It's hard not to want immediate results, and be upset when they don't come. But looking as far outward and forward as possible helps. So that every hope and dream isn't pinned on the outcome of this…