Well! Things are actually looking good! I know, crazy!

We had our ultrasound yesterday, at 9 1/2 weeks. And our baby is right on track! Heartbeat and size are perfect for 9 1/2 weeks, and it all looks good. I have little pictures and videos of the ultrasound. We saw him move his little arms and legs and wiggle around. So crazy! He's only an inch long right now, but it's wild that an inch long baby is just chilling in my squishy belly right now. That's nuts.

And my husband got brave and asked about the sex of our baby, and the chromosomes say he's a boy. Okay! I was starting to think maybe I had a boy vibe. And that's great! My husband was a little disappointed and had wished for a girl. Because he tends to feel more comfortable around women. But I am trusting that our baby will be exactly who they are meant to be in our family and it will be good for us all. I'm happy either way! 

I feel like the men in both of our lives have a tendency to be kind of aloof and weird and I am looking forward to setting a new way forward, being emotionally open and communicative with my boys. I hope perhaps it can be a shift for my husband as well.  

This was our last scan at our fertility clinic, so now we "graduate" to regular OB care. Hooray!

This is right about the time that our last pregnancy went off the rails and I had the dreaded ultrasound with no heartbeat, and found out that I had a missed miscarriage and had lost our baby. A couple of days later we learned that he showed Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21, on the Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT) blood test. That is all part of why we had our embryos tested. So we had assurance that if we had a pregnancy after the embryo transfer, there was a low likelihood of a chromosomal problem, which could cause Down Syndrome (which itself has a very high rate of miscarriage) or an early miscarriage for another chromosomal reason. It is not a guarantee of success or no problems, but it was hugely reassuring. And I have been much less anxious than the last time. I was a barrel of nerves for weeks there. I am more comfortable this time. I still rejoice every day that goes by without something dreadful happening, but am much more hopeful. I don't take that for granted!

Every day that we don't experience a personal tragedy is a day to heal and rebuild and I am so thankful. After three pregnancy losses, and losing two uncles and my father in law in the last three years, we want to rest and heal.